没看出来哪里押韵了

抑郁症？

What was your relationship to him? Feel like you have overdone it but that is just me.

现在老爹癌症末期住院，老妈精神有点失常，这个惨

回复 [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1880471&postid=68939406#68939406]6楼aranya的帖子[/url]

我晕，韵脚必须是元音吧？反正我从来没读过辅音做韵脚的。
比如别人写的悼亡诗是这样的
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

我觉得作者似乎有点躁郁呢

LZ说一下同学的死因吧。佛家讲究自戕之人7世不入轮回 基督教也是很反对自戕的。人要放得开才走得远。没有那么多过不去的坎

感觉不要发到人家facebook上去。如果事情刚发生，还能表达悼念。这事过去很久了，无缘无故发到人家facebook只会让他家人伤心。还是自己留着缅怀吧

留着给自己看吧。觉得感情好的，写得自然情真意切些，正如楼主自己所说，和亡者也不是多么亲近，纯粹是自己的感触而已，不觉得诗有多动人，就自己留着好了。

阿弥陀佛！

诗写得挺好的，没必要非得压韵

你还是写成一篇短文吧

押韵，是说韵母要押上，就是元音

Rip

你这是拿同学的自杀来秀自己的才情的不成？

很做作。还不如简单写几句真心实意的话。

不太合适吧

还是留着自己看看比较好。。。。。悼念亡人只是为了安抚自己的内心，说不定人家父母不想看到这样的诗呢。。。

楼主都怎么想的呀，太over了

谁自杀了？