So the other day, folks in the comments were talking about leggings. I'm pretty agnostic about leggings, but the whole discussion (which centered on the fact that it can be *really* hard to look good in leggings) got me thinking about the pervasive idea that women owe it to onlookers to maintain a certain standard of decorativeness.Now, this may seem strange from someone who writes about pretty dresses (mostly) every day, but: You Don't Have to Be Pretty. You don'towe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked "female".I'm not saying that you SHOULDN'T be pretty if you want to. (You don't owe UN-prettiness to feminism, in other words.) Pretty is pleasant, and fun, and satisfying, and makes people smile, often even at you. But in the hierarchy of importance, pretty stands several rungs down fromhappy, is way below healthy, and if done as a penance, or an obligation, can be so far away from independent that you may have to squint really hard to see it in the haze.But what does you-don't-have-to-be-pretty mean in practical, everyday terms? It means that you don't have to apologize for wearing things that are held to be "unflattering" or "unfashionable" — especially if, in fact, they make you happy on some level deeper than just being pretty does. So what if your favorite color isn't a "good" color on you? So what if you are "too fat" (by some arbitrary measure) for a sleeveless top? If you are clean, are covered enough to avoid a citation for public indecency, and have bandaged any open wounds, you can wear any color or style you please, if it makes you happy.I was going to make a handy prettiness decision tree, but pretty much the end of every branch was a bubble that said "tell complainers to go to hell" so it wasn't much of a tool.Pretty, it's sad to say, can have a shelf life. It's so tied up with youth that, at some point (if you're lucky), you're going to have to graduate from pretty. Sometimes (as in the case with Diana Vreeland, above, you can go so far past pretty that you end up in stylish, or even striking (or the fashion-y term jolie laide) before you know it. But you won't get there if you think you have to follow all the signs that say "this way to Pretty." You get there by traveling the route you find most interesting. (And to hell with the naysayers who say "But that's not PRETTY"!)

回复 [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66946237#66946237]1楼cristal2011的帖子[/url] You Don't Have to Be Pretty. You don'towe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked "female".I'm not saying that you SHOULDN'T be pretty if you want to. (You don't owe UN-prettiness to feminism, in other words.) 全文精华在这一段——你不欠任何人“漂亮”，漂亮不是你作为女人要付的租金。并非说你不能漂亮，你只是不欠任何人漂亮而已。

回复 [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66946291#66946291]2楼cristal2011的帖子[/url] 关于这段博文，还引发了有趣的争议。 原文作者Erin在2006年写下这篇博文，随后引起大范围的转发，好评，但因为文中贴了张时尚教主Diana Vreeland的照片，结果很多人误以为是D撰写的此文，还有人跑来原作者博客质疑他抄袭，也是蛮搞笑的。 好了，楼主贴此文是想说，大路朝天，各走一边。化妆与否，完全是个人意愿，素颜者无资格评论化妆者，同理，化妆者也请放过素颜者。 世间道路千万条，道者道，非常道。每个人走的，都是一条道，究竟何谓高，何谓下，不过是一句道不同，不相为谋罢了。

为什么‘道可道 非常道’在这里变成了‘道者道 非常道’？ 还完全不同的意思？ [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66947652#66947652][/url]

我故意改的。 就是要不同意思。 每个走在道上的人都是道者。道，并非先贤大能者才可论。 行走人间道，道理自论，论人是非还是助人一乐，都是自己的道，因果自承。

太长不看👀 [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66947590#66947590][/url]

二楼我有萨摩瑞啊，你这懒家伙。

做不到呀，不打扮不化妆心里很就不自信 [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66947788#66947788][/url]

做不到就不做，就化得美美的啊。 这文章是说你不欠别人漂亮，那你觉得自己欠自己漂亮，谁还能说你啥呢？

做不到就不做，就化得美美的啊。 这文章是说你不欠别人漂亮，那你觉得自己欠自己漂亮，谁还能说你啥呢？ [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66947847#66947847][/url]

哦，没仔细看题目哈我发现，同等条件下，漂亮的比不漂亮的机会多，我心里不平衡呀！

原来英文的鸡汤文是这样的…… [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66947864#66947864][/url]

谁说这是鸡汤文，这是十全大补汤文好吗？鸡汤太淡嘌呤还高，谁爱喝啊！

哦，没仔细看题目哈我发现，同等条件下，漂亮的比不漂亮的机会多，我心里不平衡呀！ [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66947893#66947893][/url]

同等条件下，聪明的比笨的机会多，健康的比病的机会多，爹是李刚的比爹是noboday的机会多。 你要不平衡，那这辈子你也别想摆平你心中的那个小天平啦！ 有人说，做人不就是你比比我，我比比他，再互相笑话笑话嘛。 其实，这还是看自己内心究竟怎样看吧。我不爱跟人比，我觉得人嘛，活得有趣就行。美丑贤愚，不干我事，我不是上帝。 所谓，有人看世界是竞技场，那也有人看世界是游乐场，对不？

能不能总结成：长得丑不是你的错，你不需要道歉。。。。 [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66948092#66948092][/url]

神总结。 你这么想也没错。

同等条件下，聪明的比笨的机会多，健康的比病的机会多，爹是李刚的比爹是noboday的机会多。 你要不平衡，那这辈子你也别想摆平你心中的那个小天平啦！ 有人说，做人不就是你比比我，我比比他，再互相笑话笑话嘛。 其实，这还是看自己内心究竟怎样看吧。我不爱跟人比，我觉得人嘛，活得有趣就行。美丑贤愚，不干我事，我不是上帝。 所谓，有人看世界是竞技场，那也有人看世界是游乐场，对不？ [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66948033#66948033][/url]

lzmm我可以和你做朋友吗？这样想的人不多。我完全支持你的看法。

Colbie Caillat - Try

RE: 大家说太长，二楼有浓缩。都在讨论素颜，You Don't Have To Be P... 不是还有个mv嘛，大家卸妆的[url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66948147#66948147][/url]

co worker和老公欠你帅吗？他们有没有为了你健身化妆喷香水？

我觉得我绝对觉得欠co worker 和老公prettiness 都挺不容易的 跟我相处 我再不pretty 咋整[url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66948315#66948315][/url]

lzmm我可以和你做朋友吗？这样想的人不多。我完全支持你的看法。 [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66948276#66948276][/url]

可以呀。找呀找呀找朋友，你是我的好朋友，嘻嘻。

同等条件下，聪明的比笨的机会多，健康的比病的机会多，爹是李刚的比爹是noboday的机会多。 你要不平衡，那这辈子你也别想摆平你心中的那个小天平啦！ 有人说，做人不就是你比比我，我比比他，再互相笑话笑话嘛。 其实，这还是看自己内心究竟怎样看吧。我不爱跟人比，我觉得人嘛，活得有趣就行。美丑贤愚，不干我事，我不是上帝。 所谓，有人看世界是竞技场，那也有人看世界是游乐场，对不？ [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66948033#66948033][/url]

lz你心态真好，我这种俗人活得确实累，可是周围环境就这样，自己不打扮有时候就会被人笑－－老土。我发现化化妆自己就有自信，做事也容易些，别人也愿意帮忙些（当然我还是尽量自己去achieve）。记得当初开始出来交友（指男女朋友）发现要是不化妆打扮真的没什么人问津，后来打扮了就有些人追。真的没办法呀

lz你心态真好，我这种俗人活得确实累，可是周围环境就这样，自己不打扮有时候就会被人笑－－老土。我发现化化妆自己就有自信，做事也容易些，别人也愿意帮忙些（当然我还是尽量自己去achieve）。记得当初开始出来交友（指男女朋友）发现要是不化妆打扮真的没什么人问津，后来打扮了就有些人追。真的没办法呀 [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66948826#66948826][/url]

美眉，你真的觉得那些男生是因为化妆就追你因为不化妆就不追你吗？ 我有些怀疑。 反正我身边没有哪对儿终成眷属的有情人是因为这么简单的原因就走在一起的。 可能一开始是因为漂亮，但最终还是因为合适吧。 而且，始终把自己的信心与心情寄托在别人的眼光中，会比较累吧。 跟美眉共勉。

同等条件下，聪明的比笨的机会多，健康的比病的机会多，爹是李刚的比爹是noboday的机会多。 你要不平衡，那这辈子你也别想摆平你心中的那个小天平啦！ 有人说，做人不就是你比比我，我比比他，再互相笑话笑话嘛。 其实，这还是看自己内心究竟怎样看吧。我不爱跟人比，我觉得人嘛，活得有趣就行。美丑贤愚，不干我事，我不是上帝。 所谓，有人看世界是竞技场，那也有人看世界是游乐场，对不？ [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66948033#66948033][/url]

哈哈，我一直觉得人生如戏，认真就输了～ 这个游乐场的比方更积极点，我喜欢！

哈哈，

二楼我有萨摩瑞啊，你这懒家伙。[url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66947824#66947824][/url]

哎，我觉得的要调整自己的心态，我其实不太喜欢那些因为漂亮而追求的人。这种人很大可能会因为相貌而放弃你去追求其他人。而相貌真的会随时间贬值的。所以失去那些因为相貌而存在的追随者，未尝不是一件好事。化妆只为了取决自己的心。生活会变的简单而轻松一些。

lz你心态真好，我这种俗人活得确实累，可是周围环境就这样，自己不打扮有时候就会被人笑－－老土。我发现化化妆自己就有自信，做事也容易些，别人也愿意帮忙些（当然我还是尽量自己去achieve）。记得当初开始出来交友（指男女朋友）发现要是不化妆打扮真的没什么人问津，后来打扮了就有些人追。真的没办法呀[url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66948826#66948826][/url]

You don't have to be pretty. You just have to feel pretty.

大家说太长，二楼有浓缩。都在讨论素颜，You Don't Have To Be Pretty。 So the other day, folks in the comments were talking about leggings. I'm pretty agnostic about leggings, but the whole discussion (which centered on the fact that it can be *really* hard to look good in leggings) got me thinking about the pervasive idea that women owe it to onlookers to maintain a certain standard of decorativeness.Now, this may seem strange from someone who writes about pretty dresses (mostly) every day, but: You Don't Have to Be Pretty. You don'towe prettiness to anyone. Not to your [url=http://forums.huaren.us/showtopic.aspx?topicid=1804905&postid=66946237#66946237][/url]